• donnafrasca

What NOT To Say in Readings


Words have energy, and power and, if not used correctly, can do a lot of harm. I'm talking about words that are used in readings.


As we all know, one of the primary purposes of readings is to provide a healing service that connects spirit to a loved one. When we talk about healing, in this case, we talk about our words.


Also, in readings, there is a psychic connection. In these readings, many messages are given, suggestions, and ways to help guide the sitter closer to their destination. Here again, words are crucial in this process.


For example, words or phrases you do not want to use in readings:


You need to...

You should ...

You must ...

I know ...


How would you feel if you heard those words in your reading? To me, it would feel more like a mother telling a child what to do instead of two adults on the same energy level working together. These memorable conversations must originate from the heart space and not the ego. The ego words are very sharp, cold, and come from the self-center of the person doing the reading. This happens with people who are new in their journey and who need a little more education on how to use words in their mediumship readings.


Instead of saying, “You need to XYZ, “ you could use words like “I feel a great direction to think about would be XYZ. “


Instead of saying, “You should XYZ, “ you could say, “How do you feel about trying XYZ. “


Instead of saying “You must XYZ, “ well, let’s say you should never say “You must.“

And last but not least, the word “I“ is sometimes useful when you talk about personal experiences to make a point, but when it’s used as a commanding word like “I know” “I think you should,” then it becomes too focused in the solar plexus, and the feeling of the reading has now changed.


When a client, or sitter, walks away from a reading, they should feel enlightened, perhaps have focus and clarity, or walk away with a feeling of healing and direction. If the client walks away feeling belittled or like they just got scolded by their parent, this was an inferior reading, and the reader should be made aware of these red flags.


Mediums, put yourself in the client's place and understand how you want to be spoken to. Talk to your client as if you are equals. Please, be understanding of the person's feelings and where their heart and mind are at the time. Many people who seek readings are in very delicate emotional spaces.


My advice is that if you are a new medium, certainly let your client know that you are in the early stages of your journey. This way, they understand if the reading doesn’t go as expected. Also, if you are charging for your readings, price them accordingly. Everyone starts from the beginning and we grow and learn as our knowledge base grows. Until then, respect other peoples boundaries, and put yourself in their shoes as guidance as you develop your style of reading.